Mother Moments

The other day a friend of mine asked if I had any embarrassing moments I’d be willing to share. She’s a new mom and had quite a few embarrassing moments lately and has felt like she’s the only one. I assured her she is not and so to prove that here we go.

When my oldest was about 3-5 months old I was lucky enough to have a job that she could come to the office with me. I had been couped up in the office for hours and wanted to stretch my legs. I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette (dumb decision number one) and of course being a responsible parent, I shut the door as to not let my daughter inhale that horrible smoke. However, I could have been smart (sigh) and checked the door first to make sure that it was unlocked (yeah I wasn’t that smart, look at decision #1!!!). So here I am frantically running around the building, calling my boss (who happened to be my dad) to see if he could bring me a key, peeking in windows (chanda thought is was a game of peek a boo) she was laughing (I was crying). Then to my horror I see her crawling towards an outlet and all I could think was SHE’S GOING TO ELECTROCUTE HERSELF!!!!!! So what do I do, break a window of course. Which shatters around my daughter (her guardian angel had to be surrounding her because nothing touched her) and as I reach in the window to unlock and save my baby I slice my wrist open. Several hours later after the ER and stitches my dad tells me that the outlet had a plug, the spare key was in the shop (i could have called my grandpa who would have told me that ) and if he ever caught me smoking on the nonsmoking property again I as fired.

Flash forward a few years and Chanda was about 6 and in swim lessons. The kids were happily learning to bob in the water and I was sitting in the bleachers talking to some of the mothers that were nearby. I look over in time to Chanda jump up and catch her forehead on the edge of the pool and you could tell it hurt. She immediately teared up and turned to her instructor with tears in her eyes and asked if she could leave. The swim instructor had seen what had happened and removed Chanda’s hand looked at it, turned a little white and said okay. When Chanda turned around to get out of the pool, there was a collective gasp from all of the mother’s except me. I, of course, being a pre-nursing student was like “oh it’s a head wound. They bleed a lot. Can she finish her lesson first?” From the incredulous and horrified looks all around I realized that was a no and I collected Chanda and left.

A week after the twins were born I was sitting after church waiting for my husband to come from gathering the older kids. This little older lady comes up and starts telling me what a blessing I am and how precious the girls are and “oh my gosh did you realize twins!” After she bestows these beautiful blessings on each twin separately and we speak for about another 10-15 minutes we both realize that she has the wrong person and no I did not adopt these twins, they are actually from my body and thank you for those wonderful blessings you meant to bestow on someone elses children. (Good grief)

Then there was the time that I went to pick up Chanda from school. I had gotten the twins all buckled in their car seats and all set to go and left to go get Chanda…..forgot to put the twins in the car!!! (Thank God I hadn’t gotten far!)

How about the first doctors visit I had to do alone with the twins and Bethany. Thankfully the twins could walk by that time but seriously that was horrific. I had to put Bethany in a front pack and try to hold onto the twins by the hands as we trooped into the office. The twins wanted nothing to do with that. From the moment they could walk they went two separate directions and “oh boy mom’s by herself and she has Bebe in the pack!!!” I spent the whole time running from one end of the office to the next. The doctor felt so bad for me she sent two nurses out with me to make sure we all got safely in the car. I also figured she was having them check to make sure there were no ropes or chains in the car that I used to hold them down when no one was around.

But the all time MOST embarrassing moment of my motherhood days so far was a trip to Wal-Mart. I had actually survived getting through the store with all three girls not having one issue and thought to myself I am wonder mom…..then the checkout line. I get the sweetest old lady who goes so slow and she’s scanning each item carefully and out of nowhere Kayla points over my shoulder to some random woman and says as loudly as possible “SHE’S A BAD LADY!!!!!!” I’m horrified and tell Kayla not to point and please don’t say that and she continues “BUT MOM, SHE’S A BAD LADY!!!!!” Still pointing at this poor woman. At this point the checker is thankfully almost done and hands the girls their candies and Reagan out of nowhere looks at the checker and says as loudly as possible “YOU BROKE MY CANDY!!!!” and bursts into tears which was followed closely by Bethany who decided to join in all the fun and re-soundly ended the yelling with “YEAH, SO THERE!!!!!” and shook her tiny little fist. I paid, ran for the door and never looked back.

So yes I have had a few wonderful mother moments that I look back on and wish I could just sink into the ground or have a do over but you live and learn.  Till next time!