The State of Oregon is what people call a “Mother State”. Having been a single mother for 12 years prior to marrying my husband I was in total agreement with this. However, over the last 6 years my opinion has evolved. I am still in the corner for mothers who take care of their children. I know that raising a single child or multiple children by yourself is a hard job. There are not enough hours in a day and the money never goes far enough. I get it. I’ve been there. The struggle is real and it hurts. But I’m tired of the mother’s who are just using the system to obtain money, never bettering themselves and allowing their children to remain in poverty or worse run wild and grow into future lawbreakers.
I’m sure by now you’re wondering why I’m posting this. For me, it’s personal. When I married my husband he came with a son. My sons’ name is Caden and he is a great kid. When I met him he was just 8 and a pretty happy kiddo. His mother was a “class act” at that point already. Her and her then husband were enrolled at the local community college but both would only go as long as was needed to obtain the refund money and then drop the courses. Great way to get some extra cash around the house. Lots of other examples of greatness there but the worse for my son was her divorce from her husband. Since her divorce she has moved her children from Illinois, back to Oregon to California, to Oregon to California and now back to Oregon all in the pursuit of men who could provide her a “better life”. Each time it was a disaster and in most cases the kids were in some scary situations. This last time back to Oregon according to my son they had to flee in the middle of the night with only the clothes on their backs. These children are not safe with her and no matter how many times we have called the State of Oregon they will do NOTHING!!!! My son has not been enrolled in high school since coming back to the state and when I called to inquire about this it’s not considered neglect. Why not???? She is keeping a boy who already struggles with school out of school. This will not help his future!!!!! The only thing the state can do is FINE her each month he is out of school. BIG DEAL!!!!!! She will never pay it.
What makes this all worse is all four of her kids believe that the lives they are living with her now is what they deserve. You try and talk to them and explain that they deserve better and they don’t want to hear it. They think you are bad mouthing their mother and they shut you out. The two oldest boys have been in and out of Juvenile Hall too many times to count and I fear the my poor son will follow soon. I’m mad at their mother but I blame the state too. Countless times of calling and asking for intervention and they have done nothing. Yes, budgets are tight and there is never enough workers to help and they can only do what the law allows but seriously 4 kids are losing the ability to be functioning members of society because of 1 woman.