Locked and Loaded

I have a whole page dedicated on this site to the funny things people say. Okay, it’s mostly the funny things that have popped out of my kiddos mouths over time, but I’ve heard some funny stuff out of adults too. The other day though Kayla, one of the twins, came up with a whopper of a good one and I just have to tell it.

To give you a little backstory here, my family (my dad’s side) has always found bodily functions humorous. Especially, if it happens at an inappropriate time or if it’s rather LOUD. My mother, bless her heart, has never found it amusing but the rest of us do extended family, grandchildren, etc. I can feel my mother rolling her eyes at this post already. Anyway, I had to take Kayla to the doctor due to her chronic constipation and of course, they always ask if she’s passing gas. I made the mistake of telling Dr. Booker that it’s a regular fart fest in our house every morning. For a mom raising girls, I never thought I would hear so many farts!

Well, Dr. Booker laughed and told Kayla that was now part of her chart forever. Someday when she was 30, a doctor would look back and know she was a gassy kid. Kayla gave me her usual, “Thanks a lot mom” look and from that moment on she has made it her mission to fart on me daily. I can usually see it coming and stand up and run away or hide but there are times that she just catches me off guard. Darn that child!!!

The best one though happened just the other day. It was one of those mornings that she caught me off guard and I was wrestling her around trying desperately to get out of the chair before she sat on me and Kayla yells out “Mom, I don’t have a fart locked and loaded!!! Relax!!!” I died laughing. I was laughing so hard my husband thought I was losing my marbles.

So now Kayla has a new nickname and I have a new story to tell her doctor someday soon. Oh being a parent can be too much fun sometimes!!!